A Place For Things

fairytalesfor20somethings:

Aladdin’s newsfeed was full of all his friends’ stories of their job acquisitions, wild nights out in Agrabah, and all other pieces of evidence that they were winning at this whole “life” thing. And while Aladdin might have been broke, homeless, and without any marketable skills, his inordinate amount of free time had allowed him to discover that Oreos and Doritos tasted incredible together, so, yeah—he was pretty much nailin’ it.

Oh what’s that, I’m in my thirties?

jumpingjacktrash:

hypotheticalwoman:

joyouslyprofane:

soooo true.

Dude, that’s my end goal. The shenanigans is the best part.

i kinda have to reblog this every time cuz wow true

although our current group starts each mission as picture A and ends it as picture B.

my character when we get our assignment: “here is a detailed 12-point plan for how we will pursue our investigation without revealing our hole cards or causing a diplomatic incident. there are three contingency plans for each point. has everyone visited the quartermaster for their highly specialized equipment? don’t forget to submit your expense report!”

my character by the end of the mission: “WOOHOO ZEDS INCOMIN’, PYRO PARTY IN THE JUNGLE! QUIT MAKIN FUNNY FACES WHILE I’M INTERROGATIN’ A MOTHERFUCKER! WHY DOES EVERYTHING KEEP ASPLODING? FUCK DIPLOMACY I NEEDA GET LAAAAAID!”

the fact that he substitutes coffee for sleep while on the clock is only partly responsible for this.

My last group had a mule named Giant Spider. This was established by the second or third session.

(via psychick)

(via briadru4)